My Incredible Life Story.
How I become the person I am today.

Discover Who I am.

I guess I should introduce myself …

My name is Stephen Jakes. I am a self-taught behavioural psychologist, mental health specialist, certified hypnotherapist, certified NLP practitioner, and the creator of Conflict Resolution Therapy (CRT).

For more than a decade, I have dedicated my work to researching, questioning and challenging traditional approaches to understanding the mind, emotions and behaviour. I have explored the underlying mechanisms behind mental and emotional health, behavioural patterns, limiting beliefs, triggers, identity and the experiences that shape who we are and who we become.

From this research, I developed Conflict Resolution Therapy (CRT) — a therapeutic process which has been designed and modified over time which has helped many hundreds of people worldwide identify and resolve underlying conflicts that contribute to emotional, behavioural and psychological difficulties.

So having been personally failed by mainstream therapies and traditional methods, I made it my mission to help adults and children create meaningful, lasting change by understanding what is happening beneath the surface and working towards genuine healing and resolution, rather than simply managing and living with symptoms.

Where did it all start?

I suppose you could call me an entrepreneur.

Over the course of my life, I’ve built several multi-million-pound technology and marketing businesses, while also helping many other people achieve extraordinary levels of success.

But my story isn’t simply one of business success.

Behind these achievements lies a journey spanning almost 40 years and one that has taken me through some of the darkest experiences imaginable.

I’ve experienced heartbreak, severe depression and anxiety, suicidal thoughts, mental, physical and emotional abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, the devastating loss of a child, the repeated loss of my home, family and children, financial fraud and deception involving more than £1 million, and profound betrayal in relationships.

There were times when everything I had built seemed to disappear. Times when I lost my sense of identity, purpose and hope. Eventually, I reached a point where I was emotionally and mentally broken and no longer wanted to continue living.

For almost four decades, these experiences left me feeling powerless, hopeless and completely lost.

And yet, it was reaching that point that ultimately became the beginning of something very different.

Because when I had exhausted everything I thought I knew about life, success, relationships and happiness, I was finally forced to confront an uncomfortable truth:

Maybe I had got life wrong.

Maybe everything I had been taught, everything I had achieved, and everything I had believed would make me happy simply wasn’t working.

That realisation became the turning point.

Today, I draw on everything I’ve learned, not just from building successful businesses, but from rebuilding a life that had, at one point, fallen apart completely.

My journey has taught me that success is about far more than money, status or achievement.

It’s about understanding yourself, finding meaning, developing resilience, and learning how to create a life that genuinely works for you.

And that is what I now want to help others discover.

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I fell into the "blame game" trap

For a long time, I saw myself as "poor me" and a victim of my own story.
I believed that everything that had happened to me was someone else’s fault. The people who had hurt me. The relationships that had failed. The things that had gone wrong in business. The circumstances I found myself in.

Then came an uncomfortable realisation.

I was the common denominator.

Every time something went wrong, whether in a friendship, relationship or business I was always there and ever present. That didn’t mean everything that had happened to me was my fault. But it did mean I had to take responsibility for how I responded, the choices I made, the patterns I repeated and the people I allowed into my life.

For the first time, I began to question whether the problem really was everyone else, or whether there was something within me that I needed to understand and change.

That realisation became the beginning of my journey of healing and transformation, and started searching for answers.

I explored and paricipated in counselling, psychotherapy and CBT. I invested in personal development courses and explored spiritual practices including meditation, crystals, Reiki and spiritual healing. I also followed the traditional medical route, including seeing doctors and taking medication.

I tried almost everything I could find without any improvement or success.
But despite all of this, I was repeatedly told, in one form or another, that I simply had to learn to live with what I was experiencing, that I needed to manage it, cope with it, and accept that it might never truly go away and just accept there was something wrong with me.

And something inside of me refused to accept that. I was not willing to become another victim to a system where I was given labels about my identity and then told that there is nothing that could be done.

I began to ask a different question:

What if there was another way, because if something has created it then logically it can be uncreated. What if I could establish when it all began and  why I kept experiencing the same patterns, rather than simply learning how to cope with them?

That question would eventually totally change the direction of my life.

Does this sound all too familiar?

I spent countless hours watching videos on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube, desperately searching for answers and trying to understand why I felt the way I did.

I also worked with coaches who encouraged me to make external changes in the hope that they would transform how I felt internally.

I tried exercise, changing my diet, detox programmes, juicing, meditation, self-love practices, forgiveness, letting go and surrendering to the idea of “it is what it is.”

I left no stone unturned.

Along the way, I had the privilege of working with some of the leading voices in transformational change, meditation and neuroscience. I invested significant amounts of both time and money in teachings, programmes and breakthroughs that were presented as being at the forefront of mental, emotional and physical transformation.

I genuinely believed that if I could just find the right person, the right programme or the right breakthrough, I could finally heal what had happened to me.

I wanted to resolve the pain from my past, change what was happening in my present and, ultimately, get my life back and live a normal life again.

I wasn’t looking for another temporary fix. I wanted to find  what was really going on beneath the surface and find a way to genuinely transform it.

But despite everything I tried, something still wasn’t quite right.

The more I searched, the more I began to realise that perhaps the answer wasn’t going to be found in another external solution.

Maybe the real transformation had to start somewhere much deeper.  

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Let down and betrayed by the experts.

After dedicating countless days, weeks and years, and an enormous amount of money, to finding answers, I reached a point where I felt worse than when I had started. I had invested so much time, energy and hope into trying to resolve my problems, yet nothing seemed to work.

I was exhausted.

I was struggling with depression and anxiety and felt completely powerless, hopeless and helpless. I had reached a point where I could no longer see a way forward. I felt trapped, as though there was no escape and nothing was ever going to change.

I had simply had enough. I felt that I couldn’t continue and just wanted to tap out and end it all.

What made it even more frustrating was that I had spent years studying the human mind, behaviour and emotions. I had learned about why we think the way we think, why we behave the way we do, how emotional patterns are formed and the foundations of mental and emotional wellbeing.

I understood so much of the theory, but as usual in life just understanding it logically or interllectually wouldn't and couldn't solve my own problem.

I knew that if something had been created, there had to be a way to change it. What I didn’t have was the missing piece, process or technique to actually make that change happen in real life.

But the world has a funny way of giving you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

After reaching out to an old friend for advice and support, I was introduced one summer afternoon to someone who would become a very good friend, Jonathan.

Over coffee, I explained my journey and everything I had learned over the years, from the science and psychology of human behaviour to the foundations of mental and emotional health.

I shared my understanding of how our experiences are created, how they become embedded within us, and how they can influence the way we think, feel and behave.

I knew there had to be a way to change these patterns, but I just hadn't discovered how.

That conversation would prove to be a significant turning point in my life.

This is when I was introduced to a life changing process.

Jonathan introduced me to remarkably simple technique which enables you to reprogram and the thoughts, feelings and behavioural patterns that had become deeply embedded within the mind and body for any individual.

For me, it was the missing piece of the jigsaw I had been searching for for so many years.

For the first time, I had discovered an approach that I now knew could address and change the underlying causes which was creating all my problems, rather than simply giving me a label and then telling me how to manage or live with them.

I immersed myself in the process, refining, developing and adapting it into what would become my own approach.

The results transformed my life.

The patterns, behaviours, limiting beliefs and emotional responses that had affected me for so many years began to change. The weight I had carried for decades disappeared.

I felt calmer. More peaceful. More positive. I could look towards the future with hope rather than fear.

But perhaps the most significant realisation was that what had changed my life might also be able to help other people who were struggling with issues they had been told they simply had to live with.

That became the next chapter of my journey.

I began to explore a completely different way of understanding mental and emotional wellbeing, including depression, anxiety, trauma, PTSD, relationship difficulties, abuse and the behavioural and emotional patterns that can develop from our experiences.

I refined the approach further and developed CRT — Conflict Resolution Therapy, tailoring it to the individual rather than treating people as a diagnosis or a collection of symptoms.

Since then, I have had the privilege of working with people across the UK and internationally, including clients in America, Ireland, Russia, Slovakia, Poland, Saudi Arabia and Australia.

Every person has their own story, their own experiences and their own reasons for being where they are today.

I went from desperately searching for a way out of my own darkness to discovering a solution that gave me hope again, and ultimately gave me something I never expected: the opportunity to help others find their way forward too.

That is why I do what I do today.

Because sometimes, what feels impossible isn't necessarily impossible.

Sometimes, you simply haven't found the right way forward yet.

To date, using the CRT process, I have a witnessed a 99% success rate across all my clients.

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